ok...
aku harus teguh dengan pendirian aku..
jangan ubah fikiran
dan jangan jadi lalang
LUPAKAN DIA
harus
mungkin juga WAJIB
sebab
semuanya terlampau mustahil
masa masih panjang
banyak lagi yang aku akan lalui
so because of that
for this problem
its a
FULLSTOP
(or mungkin bukan fullstop tapi aku akan biarkan dia pending *tak tetap pendirian betul la*)
Friday, February 12, 2010
harus ke berubah?
just finish doing some blog walking
ok..sumpah aku tertanya-tanya...kenapa aku tak tulis something yang more serious?
kenapa kawan-kawan aku sangat berani tulis isu-isu sensitif kat blog diorang?
dan jawapan yang mengikut kata hati aku ialah
1. sebab aku memang tak pernah serius
2. sebab aku ialah aku
3. sebab ni blog aku..so suka suki tangan aku la nak tulis apa-apa an
tapi jawapan yang ikut akal waras aku is
1. sebab kau takut hanisah
2. sebab kau tak macam diorang yang berani
3. sebab ko terlampau common and typical
typical?
bodoh..aku benci jadi typical..
tapi aku memang typical..so kena terima la kan?
kenapa aku typical?
sebab aku suka tulis benda-benda bodoh dan tak ada input dalam nie
contohnya pasal cinta..
LOSER kn?
yes..aku memang LOSER..so?
aku sangat LOSER sebab aku tulis pasal cinta kat sini..
sedangkan aku sendiri yang cakap "Love is a stupid loser stuff"
btw sebab a thing call LOVE la aku jadi LOSER
so please put the blame on Love..
fuck love *aku cakap je but atlast i am the one who drown in it*
patut ke aku tulis something yang lebih bermakna kt sini?
selain daripada asyik bersastera yang entah apa-apa?
sorry my bro-in-law, Azreek Adam, sebab adik tak penah dengar pendapat abang ayek untuk tulis something yang lagi penting..
bukan tak nak..tapi macam bukan masanya lagi kot
dan Faiqah Azmir, kawan aku yang sangat hardcore serta pencinta moshing sejati, aku sangat salute ko..even ko amik Engine kn..entry kat blog ko kadang-kadang buat ko nampak macam budak law..nak-nak bila ko sentuh pasal maria ozawa and ISA hari tu..
kau HEBAT orang tua!!
psttt: entry aku sgt serabai.BOSAN + LAPAR
ok..sumpah aku tertanya-tanya...kenapa aku tak tulis something yang more serious?
kenapa kawan-kawan aku sangat berani tulis isu-isu sensitif kat blog diorang?
dan jawapan yang mengikut kata hati aku ialah
1. sebab aku memang tak pernah serius
2. sebab aku ialah aku
3. sebab ni blog aku..so suka suki tangan aku la nak tulis apa-apa an
tapi jawapan yang ikut akal waras aku is
1. sebab kau takut hanisah
2. sebab kau tak macam diorang yang berani
3. sebab ko terlampau common and typical
typical?
bodoh..aku benci jadi typical..
tapi aku memang typical..so kena terima la kan?
kenapa aku typical?
sebab aku suka tulis benda-benda bodoh dan tak ada input dalam nie
contohnya pasal cinta..
LOSER kn?
yes..aku memang LOSER..so?
aku sangat LOSER sebab aku tulis pasal cinta kat sini..
sedangkan aku sendiri yang cakap "Love is a stupid loser stuff"
btw sebab a thing call LOVE la aku jadi LOSER
so please put the blame on Love..
fuck love *aku cakap je but atlast i am the one who drown in it*
patut ke aku tulis something yang lebih bermakna kt sini?
selain daripada asyik bersastera yang entah apa-apa?
sorry my bro-in-law, Azreek Adam, sebab adik tak penah dengar pendapat abang ayek untuk tulis something yang lagi penting..
bukan tak nak..tapi macam bukan masanya lagi kot
dan Faiqah Azmir, kawan aku yang sangat hardcore serta pencinta moshing sejati, aku sangat salute ko..even ko amik Engine kn..entry kat blog ko kadang-kadang buat ko nampak macam budak law..nak-nak bila ko sentuh pasal maria ozawa and ISA hari tu..
kau HEBAT orang tua!!
psttt: entry aku sgt serabai.BOSAN + LAPAR
Thursday, February 11, 2010
will the dream come true?
its too complicated
i like him
with no reason
i don't even know how its started
when i notice the feelings its already too late
its too quick
and all of a sudden
to say that i'm in love
maybe its too fast
but i like him
i adore him
i admire him
its like there's a spark in him
that make me keep looking
and make me thinking of him
but everything seems to be way too complicated
some ancient undiscovered unrealisable love triangle suddenly stuck with me
i am the type who won't fight for something
and to fight for something that wasn't mine is PATHETIC
but a few days ago
some thought came across my mind
if i keep backing off
and surrendered before i start my fight
when will i win?
when will i gain success?
but the fact that he's not mine really freaking bothering me like hell
there's no use to fight for him right?
he's not belong to me
so maybe i should keep holding to my principe which is don't fight for something that wasn't mine
pssttt:this post make me look like freaking psycho path..haha
i like him
with no reason
i don't even know how its started
when i notice the feelings its already too late
its too quick
and all of a sudden
to say that i'm in love
maybe its too fast
but i like him
i adore him
i admire him
its like there's a spark in him
that make me keep looking
and make me thinking of him
but everything seems to be way too complicated
some ancient undiscovered unrealisable love triangle suddenly stuck with me
i am the type who won't fight for something
and to fight for something that wasn't mine is PATHETIC
but a few days ago
some thought came across my mind
if i keep backing off
and surrendered before i start my fight
when will i win?
when will i gain success?
but the fact that he's not mine really freaking bothering me like hell
there's no use to fight for him right?
he's not belong to me
so maybe i should keep holding to my principe which is don't fight for something that wasn't mine
pssttt:this post make me look like freaking psycho path..haha
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
balik?!NOTTT!!!!!!
since yesterday
most of the uitm kedah's students or should i say all uitm's students has start going home for the CNY holidays...
while me on the other hand going to stuck here..for 4 days
ya ya..im not going home
suprise?yeah u should..
tindakan berani mati gak lah sbb x balik an
tp redho je la
i miss kuantan like mad but the fact that the journey taking 9 to 10 hours really make me sick
and in addition to the sickness is im going to be alone in the bus..literally
sumpah tak tahan..besides the hols only for 4 days..it won't be enough
20 hours for pergi balik..tolak waktu tidur...berapa jam sangat lah yang tinggal kan?
pastu bila dah balik comfirm2 la bnyk date kat luar..nk reject those dates macam tak patut..
tp bila masa nak spend time ngan family
haishh..so baik la duduk sini
mungkin boleh study for tests and final..who knows right?*mungkin je la..haha*
but now suddenly macam sangat sedih sebab tak balik
sangat rindu mak and ayah
rindu rumah
rindu family
dan segalanya yang berkaitan ngan kuantan:(
pstttt: Nur Hamizah Binti Othman- sila pastikan anda datang menjenguk saya pada miggu hadapan okey?tq^^
most of the uitm kedah's students or should i say all uitm's students has start going home for the CNY holidays...
while me on the other hand going to stuck here..for 4 days
ya ya..im not going home
suprise?yeah u should..
tindakan berani mati gak lah sbb x balik an
tp redho je la
i miss kuantan like mad but the fact that the journey taking 9 to 10 hours really make me sick
and in addition to the sickness is im going to be alone in the bus..literally
sumpah tak tahan..besides the hols only for 4 days..it won't be enough
20 hours for pergi balik..tolak waktu tidur...berapa jam sangat lah yang tinggal kan?
pastu bila dah balik comfirm2 la bnyk date kat luar..nk reject those dates macam tak patut..
tp bila masa nak spend time ngan family
haishh..so baik la duduk sini
mungkin boleh study for tests and final..who knows right?*mungkin je la..haha*
but now suddenly macam sangat sedih sebab tak balik
sangat rindu mak and ayah
rindu rumah
rindu family
dan segalanya yang berkaitan ngan kuantan:(
pstttt: Nur Hamizah Binti Othman- sila pastikan anda datang menjenguk saya pada miggu hadapan okey?tq^^
puas hati dah kan?
penat
tu je yang aku mampu cakap
dah tak mampu dah hadapi masalah-masalah bodoh macam ni
memang hati aku berbisik tidak
tapi otak ni degil
tak penah nak dengar cakap hati
memang la selalunya hati buat keputusan salah
tapi bukan kali ni
apa yang hati mintak ternyata jalan terbaik
otak pulak sibuk tak nak dengar cakap
sibuk nak fikir pasal tu lagi
dah la otak
hati dah bosan dengan semua ni
biarlah 'ini' terus dengan cara dia
dingin
memang aku suka sejuk
sensasi dingin tu kan menyegarkan
tapi terlampau dingin akan buat aku bersin tanpa henti
dan keesokan harinya hidung aku akan merah dan pedih gila
tapi kalau dah dingin yang di pilih
terpaksalah aku bertahan je
terpaksalah aku cari jalan lain
pakai sweater
atau mungkin berlapis-lapis helaian baju dapat membantu
yang pentingnya ialah
aku dah tak mampu nak lawan lagi
aku dah cuba bakar kayu api
tapi dingin masih dingin
tak pernah berubah
YA..
memang aku mengalah
biarlah aku berenang mengikut arus
dan terbang mengikut angin
tu je yang aku mampu cakap
dah tak mampu dah hadapi masalah-masalah bodoh macam ni
memang hati aku berbisik tidak
tapi otak ni degil
tak penah nak dengar cakap hati
memang la selalunya hati buat keputusan salah
tapi bukan kali ni
apa yang hati mintak ternyata jalan terbaik
otak pulak sibuk tak nak dengar cakap
sibuk nak fikir pasal tu lagi
dah la otak
hati dah bosan dengan semua ni
biarlah 'ini' terus dengan cara dia
dingin
memang aku suka sejuk
sensasi dingin tu kan menyegarkan
tapi terlampau dingin akan buat aku bersin tanpa henti
dan keesokan harinya hidung aku akan merah dan pedih gila
tapi kalau dah dingin yang di pilih
terpaksalah aku bertahan je
terpaksalah aku cari jalan lain
pakai sweater
atau mungkin berlapis-lapis helaian baju dapat membantu
yang pentingnya ialah
aku dah tak mampu nak lawan lagi
aku dah cuba bakar kayu api
tapi dingin masih dingin
tak pernah berubah
YA..
memang aku mengalah
biarlah aku berenang mengikut arus
dan terbang mengikut angin
Sunday, February 7, 2010
sedar
post kedua untuk hari ini...
kebelakangan nie aku berhadapan dengan mood swing yang agak hebat dan dahsyat...
but no comment on that
penat dah fikir pasal depression je
motif post ni?
hurmm...
just want to thanks 'dia' for again make me realise something about 'you'
something that was unsure and also a maybe
eventhough it's a maybe
yet i feel like a glass of water being splash on my face
like a wake up call
and in a harsh word..IT'S AN AWAKENING SLAP!!^^
'dia' just cakap that something to comfort herself
but yet i guess its going to help me too
help me to forget 'you'
help me to erase 'you'
and and..help me to LIQUID 'you'
haha..watever lah kan...
malas nak mengarut panjang-panjang
just nak say thanks to 'dia'
a lot of thankful..hehe
psttt: Qi..u are a brilliant songwritter...and vocalist too..falling in love with the song 'WHY'..eventhough it just a lyrics with no music yet..(^_-)
kebelakangan nie aku berhadapan dengan mood swing yang agak hebat dan dahsyat...
but no comment on that
penat dah fikir pasal depression je
motif post ni?
hurmm...
just want to thanks 'dia' for again make me realise something about 'you'
something that was unsure and also a maybe
eventhough it's a maybe
yet i feel like a glass of water being splash on my face
like a wake up call
and in a harsh word..IT'S AN AWAKENING SLAP!!^^
'dia' just cakap that something to comfort herself
but yet i guess its going to help me too
help me to forget 'you'
help me to erase 'you'
and and..help me to LIQUID 'you'
haha..watever lah kan...
malas nak mengarut panjang-panjang
just nak say thanks to 'dia'
a lot of thankful..hehe
psttt: Qi..u are a brilliant songwritter...and vocalist too..falling in love with the song 'WHY'..eventhough it just a lyrics with no music yet..(^_-)
promise?
kenapa kau janji
bila akhirnya kau yang memungkiri
kenapa kau macam yakin
sedangkan kau sendiri pun tak pasti
kenapa kau bagi harapan
sedangkan ia hanya menghancurkan
aku jadikan janji kau sebagai sandaran
tapi ia tak berpanjangan
kata-kata kau aku jadikan pegangan
agar aku tak terlepas pandangan
dahan yang aku harap mampu bertahan
rupa-rupanya reput dimakan anai
selemah itukah?
serapuh itukah?
semurah itukah?
aku tak harapkan satu piala
aku tak harapkan seguni emas
aku hargai semuanya
tak pernah aku doa ia berakhir
cuma yang aku harapkan
kau juga sama
seperti aku
meletakkan ia di tempat yang tinggi
psttt:shit shit shit..kenapa mesti depressing jadi sebahagian dari aku kini?
bila akhirnya kau yang memungkiri
kenapa kau macam yakin
sedangkan kau sendiri pun tak pasti
kenapa kau bagi harapan
sedangkan ia hanya menghancurkan
aku jadikan janji kau sebagai sandaran
tapi ia tak berpanjangan
kata-kata kau aku jadikan pegangan
agar aku tak terlepas pandangan
dahan yang aku harap mampu bertahan
rupa-rupanya reput dimakan anai
selemah itukah?
serapuh itukah?
semurah itukah?
aku tak harapkan satu piala
aku tak harapkan seguni emas
aku hargai semuanya
tak pernah aku doa ia berakhir
cuma yang aku harapkan
kau juga sama
seperti aku
meletakkan ia di tempat yang tinggi
psttt:shit shit shit..kenapa mesti depressing jadi sebahagian dari aku kini?
Saturday, February 6, 2010
a place call HOME
KUANTAN...saya rindu..rindu sangat
saya rindu kawan-kawan
saya rindu Teluk Cempedak
saya rindu mega
saya rindu east coast mall
saya rindu pasar malam
and paling penting
saya rindu FAMILY...sangat!!!
rumah...haishh..home sweet home
dan dan..paling penting...my territory..MY ROOM!!!!
sangat keKHINZIRan apabila saya x pulang berhari raya cina nanti
cop...raya cina kn?? aku melayu..patut lah mak ckp x payah balik CNY..
bahaha..bodo ckit..1 MALAYSIA la gila..kite sambut semua raya kan?sbb tu syg MALAYSIA sangat..sbb perpaduan teras kita..and thats why..eventhough satu kaum je yang patut sambut raya tu tp semua cuti..bagus kan jd warga Malaysia?haha..aku merepek...
oww yeah...my post dah tak gloomy and depressed lagi kn?
great isn't it? im recovering..x banyak..but sikit pon jd la kn..
and credit to Muhammad Faiz Bin Abdullah for being with me when i was super duper down..
sorry terbreakdown mse ko call khamis tue..
sorry sbb buat ko nangis skali dgn aku..haha
sorry sbb habiskan credit phone ko yang baru je di topup hari tu...
sorry sbb pakse ko dgr cerite2 bodoh aku tu...
dan terima kasih kawan..ko da macam abang aku..kembar pon boleyh jgk..
beza nyer ko lg 'comel' dari aku..hahaha..menganjing gile kn?maaf^^
12 years of friendship or should i say 12 going on 13 years really mean everything to me
tp sedikit bengang ye aku bile ko p citer kt org lain..bile aku ckp don't tell everything to anyone else i mean don't even tell a single part of it to anyone else..rasa cam nak cekik ko..
sebaik ko baik..klo tak..da lame dah aku ketuk2 kepala ko..haha
dan tak lupa kepada kawan-kawan yang lain...
zeelal yg care bout me...
aiman yang jadi informer aku masa man u lawan arsenal aritu..even mcm babi je arsenal klh kan?!bangga la kau kan aiman sbb MU menang...tp aku tetap setia ngan ARSENAL!!!
syauqi..ko x tau ape2 pon..tp aku still nk sebut nama kau..haha
juga kwn2 di uitm..
floormate terutamanya..sorry jdkn bilik korg tempat nangis..haha
thanks ida and gon sbb ske peluk aku..haha..manje
shima and wani..thanks sbb bg aku honeystar masa aku tgh selok2 nanges..
takot x tgk aku nangis???
bahaha
ok la..dah merapu panjang dah nie..sebelum aku mule mencarut entah hape2..
baik stop..hehe^^
saya rindu kawan-kawan
saya rindu Teluk Cempedak
saya rindu mega
saya rindu east coast mall
saya rindu pasar malam
and paling penting
saya rindu FAMILY...sangat!!!
rumah...haishh..home sweet home
dan dan..paling penting...my territory..MY ROOM!!!!
sangat keKHINZIRan apabila saya x pulang berhari raya cina nanti
cop...raya cina kn?? aku melayu..patut lah mak ckp x payah balik CNY..
bahaha..bodo ckit..1 MALAYSIA la gila..kite sambut semua raya kan?sbb tu syg MALAYSIA sangat..sbb perpaduan teras kita..and thats why..eventhough satu kaum je yang patut sambut raya tu tp semua cuti..bagus kan jd warga Malaysia?haha..aku merepek...
oww yeah...my post dah tak gloomy and depressed lagi kn?
great isn't it? im recovering..x banyak..but sikit pon jd la kn..
and credit to Muhammad Faiz Bin Abdullah for being with me when i was super duper down..
sorry terbreakdown mse ko call khamis tue..
sorry sbb buat ko nangis skali dgn aku..haha
sorry sbb habiskan credit phone ko yang baru je di topup hari tu...
sorry sbb pakse ko dgr cerite2 bodoh aku tu...
dan terima kasih kawan..ko da macam abang aku..kembar pon boleyh jgk..
beza nyer ko lg 'comel' dari aku..hahaha..menganjing gile kn?maaf^^
12 years of friendship or should i say 12 going on 13 years really mean everything to me
tp sedikit bengang ye aku bile ko p citer kt org lain..bile aku ckp don't tell everything to anyone else i mean don't even tell a single part of it to anyone else..rasa cam nak cekik ko..
sebaik ko baik..klo tak..da lame dah aku ketuk2 kepala ko..haha
dan tak lupa kepada kawan-kawan yang lain...
zeelal yg care bout me...
aiman yang jadi informer aku masa man u lawan arsenal aritu..even mcm babi je arsenal klh kan?!bangga la kau kan aiman sbb MU menang...tp aku tetap setia ngan ARSENAL!!!
syauqi..ko x tau ape2 pon..tp aku still nk sebut nama kau..haha
juga kwn2 di uitm..
floormate terutamanya..sorry jdkn bilik korg tempat nangis..haha
thanks ida and gon sbb ske peluk aku..haha..manje
shima and wani..thanks sbb bg aku honeystar masa aku tgh selok2 nanges..
takot x tgk aku nangis???
bahaha
ok la..dah merapu panjang dah nie..sebelum aku mule mencarut entah hape2..
baik stop..hehe^^
Thursday, February 4, 2010
a breaking down
why is it so hard for people to understand me?
and why everytime i try my best to understand others i will end up like this?!
i always put my friends' feelings into consideration..
but do they did the same for me?did they?
i love my friends for real..
i never hope for a repayment or what...
i build a friendship based on honesty and love..
but is it too much if i ask for them to consider of my feeling?
atleast once would be enough..more than enough
forgiveness...
'sorry' seems to be the easiest word for me to say
everytime i did something wrong
this word going to come out first
and sometimes
i even said sorry for something that wasn't my fault..at all
but them???
did they ever say sorry to me?
maybe they did..
but when i really dying to hear 'sorry' from them
i never get the chance to hear it
since the day i was born
its me who always says sorry
and its always them who rarely say sorry
i love my friends..all of them..with all my heart..and really appreciate them..
but again..did i mean anything to them?
and why everytime i try my best to understand others i will end up like this?!
i always put my friends' feelings into consideration..
but do they did the same for me?did they?
i love my friends for real..
i never hope for a repayment or what...
i build a friendship based on honesty and love..
but is it too much if i ask for them to consider of my feeling?
atleast once would be enough..more than enough
forgiveness...
'sorry' seems to be the easiest word for me to say
everytime i did something wrong
this word going to come out first
and sometimes
i even said sorry for something that wasn't my fault..at all
but them???
did they ever say sorry to me?
maybe they did..
but when i really dying to hear 'sorry' from them
i never get the chance to hear it
since the day i was born
its me who always says sorry
and its always them who rarely say sorry
i love my friends..all of them..with all my heart..and really appreciate them..
but again..did i mean anything to them?
psttt: love is a stupid loser stuff
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
HURT
it never hurt this much before
sumpah..sakit sangat sangat
never thought that it will end up feeling this bad
i want to cry
i want to let this feeling out
but it seems like i can't
it involves many heart that i need to put into consideration
faking myself is the best way
acting like it mean nothing is the perfect resolution
but until when i can endure the pain?
until when i can stand pretending like nothing is happening?
no one else can i blame
its my fault
i choose to keep it as a secret
and to hide it from others
but at the same time
to let only me myself know about this
its like the most perfect choice that i had ever made
because i believe it will help me undergo all this..will it?
thanks to 'dia'
i will now trying my best to forget 'you'
besides..'you' and i..we don't have anything to do with each other
we are just friends...just like 'dia' and i...
maybe friendship is important than this complicated stupid loser stuff
to 'you' and 'dia':
sorry that i never tell the truth
cause i don't think that truth is important in this matter
by saying truth won't change anything
i want to be honest when the right time comes
however..i don't think its coming
therefore,
im backing off
sorry for everything that i did
and sorry in advance if i do anything bad in the future
sincerely from the bottom of my heart,
thank you
sumpah..sakit sangat sangat
never thought that it will end up feeling this bad
i want to cry
i want to let this feeling out
but it seems like i can't
it involves many heart that i need to put into consideration
faking myself is the best way
acting like it mean nothing is the perfect resolution
but until when i can endure the pain?
until when i can stand pretending like nothing is happening?
no one else can i blame
its my fault
i choose to keep it as a secret
and to hide it from others
but at the same time
to let only me myself know about this
its like the most perfect choice that i had ever made
because i believe it will help me undergo all this..will it?
thanks to 'dia'
i will now trying my best to forget 'you'
besides..'you' and i..we don't have anything to do with each other
we are just friends...just like 'dia' and i...
maybe friendship is important than this complicated stupid loser stuff
to 'you' and 'dia':
sorry that i never tell the truth
cause i don't think that truth is important in this matter
by saying truth won't change anything
i want to be honest when the right time comes
however..i don't think its coming
therefore,
im backing off
sorry for everything that i did
and sorry in advance if i do anything bad in the future
sincerely from the bottom of my heart,
thank you
-memory erase-
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