Being the youngest

Despite of having so many people talking about how fun it is to be the youngest in the family, here today, I would really love to make a twist, telling the real fact of being the youngest from my point of view, which is not so wonderful fairytale story.

My brother and my first sister are technically closer with each other because their age are closer. My sisters also have a close relationship because they went to the same high school and have the same friends circle. But me, I'm left alone by myself because I'm the youngest. Back then, I can't really join them because I'm a kid, should just stay home and watch cartoon. By the time, I have grown up, there's no one by my side. My brother is away. My sisters are having the time of their life. There's only mom and dad who stay next to me, but come on, I also need my siblings to show me some cool stuff that they have been through and just at least show me the path even if they don't want to lead me. So there it goes, I've grown up, creating my own dull path of life. Not to blame them, I know they have their own life to handle which are much more difficult. So my point here is, growing up as the youngest mean nothing if you have to spend it alone. Compare to the others, my life wasn't really shower with luxuries even though I'm the youngest. But the highlight here is I don't need a luxurious life, I just need the uncountless loves from my family.

That growing up phase of my life almost comes to an end. All this years, I have learnt so many things. Last year was a bumpy ride for my family which somehow has strengthen our bond. We grew stronger. I've always wanted a brother who can protect me, stand out for me and speak up on my behalf. I've always dream for that ~ really. It is so wonderful to know that the dream come to alive. Maybe my brother wasn't stood out for me, but at least he did for my sister. Look upon my sisters who help each other through the toughest time did makes my eyes tearing. Tears of happiness I shall say. I might not done a lot during this critical period, but what I try to do is pretending to be the most mature one despite of my immatureness. I pretend to stay strong and calm everyone around me who is breaking down in tears and disappointment. I hold on my tears, but no one knows that I cry in my deep sleep. The least I can do.

There are moments when I feel like I don't deserve this life. Being the ugliest in the family with the most dumb brain. I'm just the one who holds the unlucky charm. Suffocate everyone with my not-to-be-proud achievements. Sorry. For being the most terrible youngest on earth.